|| ..e l|ttle vo|ces u can f|nd |n me.. ||

- mOleCuLes Of mE -

..jO-aN tAn..
..fEmaLe..
..24 yrs old..
..8th aUg 1984..
..leO..
..seconds_09@hotmail.com..
..curRentLy attAchEd tO anDreW..

- aToms iN mE-

..coNfUs|onS..
..soFt-hEarTeDneSS..
..uNceRta|n|ty |n l|fE..
..sTrOng eMot|onS..
..a fAkE stRonG fRoNt..
..iNdEc|s|veneSs..

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- aDvErtismenTs -

..went shopping after work with baby..
..he bought a new watch and i bought some clothes..
..but i am not gg to post pictures of my shopping spree..
..maybe when i get my new camera..
..i might wan to take pictures of all that..
..now i wanna talk abt something else here..

..went back baby's hse and wash clothes..
..being a little pampered girl at my own house..
..i always leave my clothes for my mummy to wash..
..of course i didnt think that washing clothes is hard..
..esp. when there is the help of a washing machine..

..i suddenly realise why i never like to wash clothes..
..even when i am not staying at home previously..
..all my clothes are washed by u-know-urself..
..thanks anyway..

..washing clothes is not difficult..
..is hanging of clothes tire ppl out..
..ytd without any help i was hanging all the clothes myself..
..darling..i am not complaining here okiez..
..i got so tired after the hanging of clothes..

..something that i didnt realise it is so hard..
..something that my mummy did it for like dunno how many yrs in her life..
..something that i never hear her complaining abt..
..i realise i have not been a good girl..

..i told myself..

..i will not make mummy hang clothes for the nxt 30 over yrs..

..can anyone invent something to help hang clothes??..
..it had been hard for all the housewives and women out there..

..i thank the person who invented the washing machine..
..if without it..
..women might need to carry on,washing clothes with their hands..

..i thank the person that invented electricity..
..cause it made it possible for ppl to invent washing machine..

..lastly..
..i really wanna thank mummy to wash all my clothes for the past 24 yrs..
..if i never stay outside and learn all this..
..maybe..juz maybe..
..i will never realise that doing household chores are so difficult and tiring..

..guys out there..
..jus sometimes..
..once in a blue moon..
..help out to do some household chores..
..i believe anyone out there will really appreciated wat u have done..

..守护著等奇迹的你..
Tuesday, September 30, 2008 at 1:51 AM

..i hate working here..
..why cant me and sarah go lunch tgt..
..everyone can go lunch tgt but we can't..
..it is so sO sO unfair..

..i dun wan to stay here anymore..
..i am sO angry..

..got to stay hungry for the rest of my working days..
..pOor saRah aNd mE!!...

..守护著等奇迹的你..
Monday, September 29, 2008 at 2:45 PM

..watch 'Painted skin' today with baby and desmond..
..the movie was boring..
..i was abt to fall asleep throughout the show..
..rated 2/5 popcorns..
..go watch if u have nutting to do..

..we had a little talk today..
..i feel wretched..
..i dun wan to talk to u like that..
..i wanna treasure our rship as much as u wanna do..
..let's try to make it right this time..
..love u..

..守护著等奇迹的你..
Thursday, September 25, 2008 at 4:22 AM

..23/09/08..
..it is panda's bday @ le bar..
..nice and fun gathering foR all the ex le bar staffs..
..the pictures shows it all..

..pAnDa aNd his 21st bDaY cUpCaKeS..

..eVeRyonE @ his bDay.. ..afTer 12 miDniGht!!....tHe haPpEniNgs.. ..i love the gathering..
..we made panda drunk!!!..
..bring back so many memories of the past..
..love all of them to the bits..

..it can never be the same again @ le bar..
..i miss all of them so much..

..HapPy biRthday To paNda and jaNice!!..
..nEarLy forgotTen abT mY lOng tiMe fRiend ~zHiyOnG~!!!..
..bEsT wIsHeS tO aLL oF thEm..

..守护著等奇迹的你..
Wednesday, September 24, 2008 at 3:57 PM

..mAmA miA..
..i caught this show with baby today after my haircut..
..i love this show aNd all the songs that's featured inside..
..it is so lively and fun..
..rated 4.5/5 popcorns..
..go watch it!!!..
..i give it a two thumbs up!!!!!...

..i feel weird..
..something is missing..
..i think..
..will it turn out better or worse..

..守护著等奇迹的你..
Monday, September 22, 2008 at 1:25 PM

..didnt go work today..
..i am sO so tired today..

..went tO cafe del mar @ sentosa with deSmOnd and teRry..
..nice chillout place i muz say..
..the pictures tell it all..

..cafe del mar..

..even though it was my first time there..
..i really love that place..
..tOo bad i am not in the right attire..
..desmond and teRry dun wan tO take photos!!!..
..so sAd..

..shots of me and baby....picture of the night..

..i love this pic..
..did i mention that me and baby is wearing the same clothes tat day..
..so pai seh lorz..
..to walk ard everywhere that day..

..i wan to hold my nxt yr bday @ cafe del mar..
..only girls will be invited!!!..
..get ready ur bikinis on that day..
..let's swip the guys off their feets and get drunk..

..guys if u wanna come along..
..u are most welcome!!..
..but will be sitting at another table ya..

..守护著等奇迹的你..
Sunday, September 21, 2008 at 10:42 PM

..if there is no trust at all..
..why shld i still stand beside u..
..i feel like a nobody when ur friends are all..
..i feel that u are insecure with me..
..i dun wan to think that much but everything shows otherwise..

..maybe..
..really maybe..
..we shld not go in circles..
..i am learning to face my true feelings..
..though i am afraid i might discover things i dun wish to face..
..i wan to face the true me..
..i hope u are thinking the same way..

..i am drunk..

..守护著等奇迹的你..
Saturday, September 20, 2008 at 3:56 AM

..i feel that there is something is gg very wrong..
..is it me..
..or is it him..

..maybe it is the show that is making me paranoid..
..the feelings are all mixed up..
..the thoughts are all confused..

..does this happen to me only..
..does he think the way i am thinking..

..maybe..
..is everything fading..

..守护著等奇迹的你..
Friday, September 19, 2008 at 6:34 PM

..was bOred at work when i try this with sarah..
..try this at http://www.psychjuice.com/..

Personality Type Report

Your Personality Preferences
EXTROVERT
You are social and outgoing. You are most comfortable when with other people and experiencing the world first hand. Interaction with others and first hand experiences energize you. It is not unlike you to start conversations with strangers. You have a preference for the outer world: people, activities, and things. Other people provide you with a mirror, sounding board to help you develop ideas and plans. Being alone may sap your energies. Your concept of the world is derived from experiencing it firsthand and then drawing conclusions.

SENSORY
You usually gather information with your senses: what you can see, hear, taste, touch and smell in the physical world. The facts gathered from the sensory data you process are the building blocks of your model of our world. You concentrate your energies on what actually exists and do not ponder what might exist too much. You are usually practical and rely on your common sense to guide you through the world. You see things as they are and have little or no need to search for underlying meanings.

JUDGING/ PERCEIVING
You appear to be an equal mix of both judging and perceiving types. This may cause you some conflict at times. On the other hand the balance of the two may work just fine for you. There is certainly nothing wrong with having a fair share of both types if you are happy. Below you will find descriptions of both types.

JUDGING
You like decisions to be made as soon as possible. You are not comfortable with loose ends and like to see conflicts resolved as soon as possible. You have a preference for a well-structured, orderly lifestyle with few surprises. It may not be all that important who makes the decisions that gets things done as long things do get done. You take commitments very seriously.

PERCEIVING
You like to have as much information as possible before making a decision. Putting off a final decision until the last moment does not make you uncomfortable. Indeed once a decision is made, a course plotted, you may feel a bit uneasy, because you feel bound to a certain course of action. You would much prefer to wait and see what happens. You enjoy the opportunity to improvise. Commitments are not etched in stone to you, and are changeable.

FEELING
You make decisions subjectively based upon your values and what is important to you. How people will be affected by your decisions is important to you. You are likely to make decisions based upon what you feel is acceptable and agreeable rather than what is logical. Your truths are founded in your values and those of the society you live in. It is important to remember that we are discussing how you evaluate data and make decisions, and that you rely on your feelings to do so in no way implies you are overly emotional.

Your Personality Type
Your personality preferences suggest you may be one of two personality types, so both these types are listed below.

Extrovert/Sensing/Feeling/Perceiving

Your caring and generous nature makes helping others a pleasure for you. You are so full of energy, friendly and charming that some might describe you as the life of the party. You are not overly judgmental and accept others as they are. You steer your course through life by relying on your common sense. You are an optimist. New experiences are food for your soul.

In relationships you are the one that can bring light to the gloomiest situation. You are easygoing and very accepting of others. You are full of energy and need to share adventures with your friends and loved ones. You need attention and approval. You may not need a deep emotional bond, but you do need your relationships to be fun. You have a genuine concern for the plight of others.

Occupations Suited to Your Type Include:

Animal handler, coach, designer, fitness instructor, flight attendant, fund-raiser, merchandiser, musician, nurse, performer, law officer, athlete, pr specialist, real-estate agent, salesperson, teacher, travel agent, and veterinarian.

Self-Esteem Inventory
Your Score is 48 Percent

This inventory has statements built into it to detect how honest your responses are. Is it possible that in your effort to appear to have a high self-esteem level you did not anwser all the questions acurrately? If so you might want to take the assessment again to get a more realistic picture of your self-esteem level.

Indications are you are comfortable enough with who you are to not hold yourself back from having a happy life.

You are certainly aware you are not perfect and you have moments of self-doubt. At times you might even chide yourself, and be overly sensitive to the criticisms of others. However, none of the above makes you distance yourself from others for long, or stop moving toward your goals. While you may not be comfortable in certain social situations, they do not intimidate you to the point of fleeing. Nor are you so riddled with self-doubt that you are rarely able to speak your mind, or defend your position on a particular issue.

Fortunately, like most of us your sense of self-worth does not allow you to make a habit of devaluing yourself unrealistically. You do not forget to pat yourself on the back for a job well done. In relationships you do not habitually play the role of tyrant or lamb. Overall you are well balanced and adjusted.

Romanticism Assessment
Your Score is 40 Percent

You appear to have a well-balanced romantic self. While you may get flutters in your stomach when you meet someone you are very attracted to, you do not let your romantic-self entirely dictate how you proceed. You will ask yourself if there is a chance this relationship will work before allowing yourself to fall in love. Even if you feel a romantic connection is viable from a practical sense, you will not just allow yourself to be swept away.

You do not have many illusions about love. While you may feel a very deep attachment to someone, you know love rarely conquers all. You know successful relationships take work and compromise and a desire by those involved to make their relationship work. Candlelight dinners and words of endless love may be nice, but they don't pay the bills or get the dishes washed.

The middle ground on the romanticism scale is neither entirely safe nor entirely lackluster. However it does not carry the weight of a romantic failure based upon being swooped off your feet. Nor is the middle ground so devoid of romanticism that you feel like you are living with a sibling. Also, there is quite a bit of evidence that with your outlook on romanticism your relationship has a very good chance of succeeding.

Sexual Attitude Assessment
Permissiveness

With a permissive scale score of 48, you fall in the wide range of those with a moderate attitude towards sexual behavior. While it is not likely you will be showing up at the next local orgy, you do have some sense of sexual adventure in you. At one time or another you have probably had some adventurous sexual encounters. However, you do not thrive on them. It is also unlikely that you make a habit of lying, or using pressure tactics to get sex.

Practices
With an practices scale score of 66, you fall in the moderate range. You are fairly communicative with your sexual partner and are open to heightening your sexual experience. You are aware of the responsibilities that come with sex and for the most part take precautions to eliminate any unwanted consequences from your sexual encounters.

Emotional
With a emotional scale score of 63, you seem to need some emotional connection with your partner for sex to be completely satisfying, but you do not need an intense emotional bond to enjoy yourself. While you might find having sex regularly with relative strangers lacking the rewards you expect, a good friend as a sexual partner may very well provide you with a pleasing sexual experience. You are not one to shy away from sex just because your emotional bond is not the stuff novels are made of. Sex minus some form of bond may leave you feeling unfulfilled, or possibly empty.

Selfishness
With an selfishness scale score of 50, you fall into the midrange of respondents. While you are not egocentric in your approach to sex, you are not about to become so consumed with your partner that you forget yourself. You may see sex as a bit of game, and not be above resorting to less than honest tactics to get what you want at times. A sexual encounter with a new partner may stroke your ego as well. However, generally you are honest, caring, and not so wrapped up in yourself that you forget your partner's needs.

Sensuality Assessment
Your Score is 87.5 Percent

You have an extremely well developed sensuality! You derive pleasure from all the senses: hearing, seeing, smelling, tasting, and feeling. You can be moved by the smell of a rose, a painting done in vivid colors, the taste of a favorite food on your tongue, music, and of course the delight of touching.

Your senses have a direct and powerful connection to your emotional self. Since you are so attuned to your senses, the right sensual stimuli will produce a passionate response in you. A particular song might flood you with the memories and passions of a love long past; or a certain smell may beckon memories of a specific period in your childhood.

Sexually, you are an explorer seeking new highs. For you the journey is every bit as important as the destination. Of course, with all the preliminary pleasures you have enjoyed, your orgasm can't help but be tremendous!

Of course there is a downside to being so sensual, and that is you may have an increased susceptibility to addictions of all kinds. Your pursuit of heightened experiences may make everyday pleasures seem a bit mundane. Try not to indulge your senses so much that you do things like gain an unhealthy amount of weight, or participate in unsafe sex.

Ultimately, the world is your sensory playground, and you know how to enjoy it to your fullest!

Intimacy Assessment
Your Score is 56 Percent

Your answers indicate that you fall in the middle of the intimacy scale. Like most of us, you do share your thoughts and feelings with a group of friends and/or someone you are intimately involved with. You are also likely to be open to hearing the private thoughts and feelings of others without being too critical of them.

You are aware there are people out there who will abuse your trust in them, so you are definitely not one to normally spill your soul to just anyone. You may share your secrets and desires, but only with those who time and experience have proven trustworthy. Of course you probably have levels of intimacy as well. While there may be one or two who know your entire story, there are others that get pieces of the picture.

Overall, being in the middle of the intimacy scale is sign that you have a very healthy attitude toward sharing your inner-self. You do not set yourself up to be abused by telling all to anyone who will listen. Nor do you close yourself off from intimacy so tightly that you have chronic feelings of alienation and loneliness. You seem to have reached a happy median in which your need to share your feelings is fulfilled without running too high a risk of rejection or misuse

..守护著等奇迹的你..
Thursday, September 18, 2008 at 6:03 PM

...my haiR is supEr shOrt...

..i feel weird..
..shld i live with it..
..shld i do hair extension..

..守护著等奇迹的你..
Tuesday, September 16, 2008 at 2:47 PM

..it is a bright and sunny saturday..
..and here am i..
..stuck in the office blogging..

..i am unusually awake today..
..look extra bright and fresh..
..rEason..
..i was totally asleep @ home when i am supposed to go le bAr and work..

..i realise that i have been craving to sleep more and more..
..i can never get enuff of sleep past few weeks..
..if it is not the help of my cough and flu medicine..
..i guess most of the time at night i wun fall asleep..

..i feel so bad that i always didnt go work when i am suppose to..
..but i cant dun sleep before i go le bar..
..i will be sleepy ard 12 midnight..
..i cant entertain or drink with anyone when i am so tired..
..wat shld i do..

..the morning job is not gg to be enuff to get me gg..
..i really need the night job for extra income..
..but i cant be always late or dun go in the night right..
..i am in a really bad situation..

..i wanna go home..
..office is boring and extremely cold when u are alone..
..sarah..
..i miss you ard!!..

..守护著等奇迹的你..
Saturday, September 13, 2008 at 3:37 PM

..i feel so sick..
..been having bad cough for like a month plus..
..cant sleep at night at all..

..baby had been so poor thing..
..he cant even sleep well at night..
..my cough is the reason though..

..contant drinking..
..not enuff rest..
..this muz be the reason why i dun recover frm my cough..
..even i drink like 3 btl of cough mixture past one month..

..seen a doctor last night..
..gotta mc and rest at home today..
..i hate to be sick..
..i hate to be alone at home..

..i am waiting for my boy to come back home..

..守护著等奇迹的你..
Wednesday, September 10, 2008 at 3:31 PM

..FoRgEttiNg saRaH mArsHaLL..
..niCe sHoW i mUz say..
..caUght this shOw with sarAh in the office..
..it is so funnY and nice..

..rated 4/5 popcorns..
..go watch it..
..u wun be disappointed!!!..

..守护著等奇迹的你..
Tuesday, September 9, 2008 at 7:50 PM

..jiayun's birthday..

..went to xian de lai for dinner after my work..
..our all-time favourite steamboat restaurant @ bugis..
..finally baby eating steamboat with me toO..

..duriNg dinNer..

..after dinner..
..we have a cake cutting session for the birthday girl..
..dunno if she feel embarrassed with us singing the bday song..
..i think we are quite loud that day..

..thE cake cuTting sessiOn.. ..after dinner and the cake cutting session..
..they headed to lunar at clarke quey..
..i was away for an hour or two..
..to join my kors for a drink at expo..

..when i went down to lunar..
..most of them are alr drunk!!!..
..see those pictures and u will noe..

..@ lunar.. ..we had our fun time there..
..shouting when playing games and all..
..it is really a drink and get drunk session..
..hope she enjoyed herself tonight ya..

..happy biRthday jIayun..
..mAy aLL ur wisHes come trUe..
..stay pretty..
..with love frm ur sis..

..守护著等奇迹的你..
Thursday, September 4, 2008 at 6:28 PM

..bought a new pony..
..he is so nice to hug..
..love him so much ya..
..toO adorable to resist ya..

..was walking ard cine and i found him!!!..
..thanks dear for buying him for me..
..he will always bE the faitHful passengeR in ur car..

..piCs oF uS aNd mY nEw loVeLy poNy....he is adorable dun he??..

..守护著等奇迹的你..
Tuesday, September 2, 2008 at 1:11 AM