..decisions..
..i hate making decisions..
..can i excused from making decisions?..

..i dunno if i shld go out..
..i dunno where to go..
..i dunno who to go out with..
..i dunno wat to do when i am outside..

..it is forever so contradicting in life..
..the things u hate to do..
..the more often u have to do it..
..the more i dont like to decide..
..the more choices i am facing in life..

.."its how much u want it"..

..forget is who say de..

..if i really want it badly..
..i will have to go all out of it rite?..
..even after awhile i realised i had pursued after a wrong choice..
..i noe that at least i have made an effort..
..at least i did sth and tried my best?..

..NO..
..i am afraid of failures..
..i am afraid of making the wrong choices..
..choices tt i will make me feel more miserable n unhappy..
..i dun wan to waste my efforts..
..i dun wan to go back to the starting pt where i tried so hard to make e first big step..
..i dun wan to hear myself say..

.."i shld hav done this...i shld hav done tt instead.."
..i dun wan to regret..

..why is there so many choices in life..
..i have to learn and choose the correct and most suitable one..
..which is close to impossible..
..following my feelings aso wrong..
..following my mind aso wrong..
..i am almost drained out..

..having mood swings recently..
..the most intolerable and disgusted ones..
..i begin to feel disgusted with my procrastination and indecisiveness..
..i cant let it go on..
..its eating and growing into me..

..tired..
..tired of expectations..
..tired of how ppl judge me..
..tired on how tO do things right..
..i wan to be alone..
..living in my own self-denial..

..there's somEthing missing in my life..
..the simpLe happiness i yearn to have..
..i feel aimless and lost.
..i need my direction back..

..i realised most of the times..
..when i provide a listening ear n give advices..
..wat i console others is wad i can never do it myself..
..its like when ur mind is telling u..
.."u SHLD b doing this!! tHis is the correct way!! tHis is the best for evEryoNe!!"..
..den the heart says,
.."nOno!! dUn do tAt.. tat's not how u FEEL!! u will regret it one day!!"..

..but anyways..
..be it the heart or mind..
..rational or emotional..
..i always lose to my heart and emotions..

..i'm feeling low AGAIN..
..i didnt wish i am like this..
..i dun wish to analyse anymore..
..i stopped being understanding..

..sth triggered it off..
..i forgot how it feels like to be blissful..
..i forgot the ability to put my all in the things i do..
..distraught..anger..disgusted.
..SO i escape..

..i no longer have any interest in anyone's affairs..
..i started to grow on myself..
..i began to lock myself in my heart..

..confidence level falls in the red zone..
..i still produce whatever i can along the way..
.."fell down, pick urself up, start walking again.."
..which idiot started this..
..can i sit at where i fall and cry till i am ready to stand up..

..i noe i need mistakes to grow up..
..i noe that it will makes me grow stronger..
..but i alr cannot take all the pain and hurt..
..i am afraid to make any first move now..

..i wan to be a hermit crab..
..hide in the place i am most comfortable with..