..been very long since i am awake during this time of the day..
..have been catching up with my taiwan dramas since i am having this stupid tummy ache the whole night..
..i miss him..

..looking at dramas..
..makes me always think that i wan to have a relationship like theirs..
..i noe i sound like a girl that wanted love so much now..
..but given a choice wun u wan a relationship like theirs..
..even though each and everytime i will choose a different male lead than the female lead..
..but they are still the ones i am looking for ya..

..been thinking alot this two days after that talk with jerRin at cabana..
..ppl tend to think that they have all the time in the world..
..everyone will always be beside unless they dun wan them too..
..or shld i say i think that bahz..

..true enuff..
..when i first started with him..
..i did say that "wE hAvE tiMe tO reAliSe tHis and tHat"..
.."wE stiLL hAvE a lOnG wAy tO gO"..
..i somehow realised that maybe cause he is older that me..
..my little actions and nonsense he will give a little more patient that wat the younger ones can give me..
..i was wrong..

..i realised now..
..i blame myself for not spending enuff time with him..
..i blame myself for being not that understanding..
..i blame myself for spending too much time in making him angry..
..i blame myself for not trying to be the best of myself when i am with him..
..i blame myself for being that annoying and wilful princess..

..i realised now..
..i miss holding hands with him..
..i miss that feeling of sitting beside him in the car..
..helping him applying that moisture cream while he is driving with one hand..
..i miss the way he look when he is driving..
..i miss the way he tell me "u ArE thE onLy oNe i aLLow tO eaT iN mY cAr"..
..i miss the way he wan me to feed him with fries and nuggets when driving me to work..
..i miss his hugs and pinching on my cheeks..
..i never realise i miss him so much..

..time cannot turn back..
..i tried to let him noe alot of things..
..i tried to show him that my attitude towards him is indifferent..
..i tried to let him realise that i will be fine without u by my side..

..i only wan him to be happy..
..even that means to see him with others..
..i think i will be able to take it..
..even it means to help him get the girl..
..i really will..

..i promise not to be angry with him anymore..
..i will accept everything that come to me..
..i really mean it..
..i only wan him to be happy..

..sO pLs bE haPpy..