|| ..e l|ttle vo|ces u can f|nd |n me.. ||

- mOleCuLes Of mE -

..jO-aN tAn..
..fEmaLe..
..24 yrs old..
..8th aUg 1984..
..leO..
..seconds_09@hotmail.com..
..curRentLy attAchEd tO anDreW..

- aToms iN mE-

..coNfUs|onS..
..soFt-hEarTeDneSS..
..uNceRta|n|ty |n l|fE..
..sTrOng eMot|onS..
..a fAkE stRonG fRoNt..
..iNdEc|s|veneSs..

Click here if you Aint liking me D:

- fOot|eS -

- l|nKs tO -

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- thE bAbEs -

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- sHopp|ng onli|Ne -

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- hEr mEmor|eS -

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- aDvErtismenTs -

..to be able to wake up and realise that it will be a good day ahead is difficult..
..but i am able to do it today..
..the wound no longer hurt so much liaoz..
..i am able to let u go..

..for 3 days..
..having sleepless night..
..not been eating well..
..drink like nobody's business..
..make everyone worry when they see me tears..

..i have been wilful..
..as far as i could remb..
..each time i fallen out of love i would have done this..
..not because i need attention..
..juz that i dun wan to swallow the pain down..
..i juz wan to let it go..

..i am glad..
..glad that i have lots of ppl beside me..
..glad that everyone is showering me with concern and care..
..glad that i am not alone..

..though my heart still yearn for an answer..
..but even if i noe the answer..
..nutting will change btw u and me..
..i dun need u to be happy..

..no more tears will fall because of u..
..i promise..
..i will be back to normal..
..to the jo-an that u used to noe..

..守护著等奇迹的你..
Wednesday, January 30, 2008 at 1:52 PM

..i tot i will be fine in front of u..
..i really think i did a good job ytd..
..i really think i hidden my feelings well..
..i believe i did..

..no matter how i feel like crying..
..i can bear with it..
..no matter how hurt i feel..
..i believe everything is fine..

..why do u even wanna talk to me..
..do i really look so strong in front of u..
..i told u not to read me like a piece of paper..
..i told u i am not a computer..
..dun program things in den when u decide to delete den juz delete it away..
..i am someone with feelings..
..i need time to heal that wound..

..i would rather u tell me the truth..
..i would rather hear u have someone new..
..den tell others dat the feeling is still there but u dunno how to work it out..

..why do u even wan to talk to me when i am working..
..true enuff...
..we have nutting to talk abt personal..
..but even work..
..ur tone is so harsh..
..how would u even feel when i tell u that everything u say makes me sick..

..why do u even wan to provoke me..
..although my life is complicated..
..but at least i am happy..
..i noe how to answer to myself..

..u walked into my life..
..painted that beautiful yet realistic picture..
..though i am afraid to step into love again..
..slowly with ur lead..
..i learn how to give things slowly..
..how to put myself in the relationship..

..when everything is in place..
..u turn ur head to tell me that i am not the one..
..u say u wanted to be friends..
..did u even bother abt how i will feel..

..i am hurt..
..thoroughly by u..

..守护著等奇迹的你..
Tuesday, January 29, 2008 at 12:43 PM

..i lost my ability to trust again..

..i realise i make a wrong decision again..

..i lost myself again..

..the ability to cry now seems easier then happiness..

..the ability to hate is easier then love..

..the feeling i have for you is still there..

..but it is alr been taken away by u..

..the things we ever shared..

..the places we ever go..

..the place that we spend most of our time together..

..now..

..they are all empty to me..

..i remb..

..everything u say..

..everything u do..

..i might not do alot for u..

..but that is wat i am able to do..

..at this point..

..i noe..

..my tone ytd..

..the things i said..

..all i did was to noe the truth and not hear excuses..

..if my temper is so intolerant..

..why did u ever try..

..i have never been fake in front of u..

..i never told u that i am someone i am not..

..why tell me that the feeling faded when i am trying so hard..

..why make me give up so many things then tell me..

..why u only see ur efforts and not mine..

..crying means hopless..

..i admit i am..

..i tot i wun be so hurt..

..why do i always out efforts in for the wrong one..

..tears been rolling in my eyes yet i cant cry..

..do i always need liquor to make me cry..

..i will never wear that pendant again..

..i will pick myself up and be that princess again..

..i will prove to u..

..i shall never trust anymore..

..esp u..

..守护著等奇迹的你..
Monday, January 28, 2008 at 2:42 PM

..tiMe fOr mE tO update my blOg..
..soRry fOr spending so lesS time on it yA..
..bEen raThEr oR shLd i sAy sUpEr bUsy..

..hMmMz..

..wHeRe shLd i eVen stArt..

..fRm cHrIstmAs eVe the 24th dEc bAhZ..

..weLL thIs yR cHriStmaS waS fUn and tIrInG fOr me..

..hAvE mY loVeD oNes wItH me..

..a baLL of mY timE reaLLy..

..yA nOt fOrgeTtiNg the wHiTe cHrIstmas tHeMe tiS yR..

pHoTo oF me aNd jErRin @lE bAr

..of cOursE..

..iT is a dRinK dRaNk aNd dRuNk seSsiOn for uS..

..oVeRaLL iT iS fUn..

..cHrIsTmAs mahZ..

..sUrE tO hAvE cHrIsTmAs presEnTs dE rIgHt..

..mAnY spEcIaL thAnks fOr ppL wHo bOuGht mE thE gIfTs..

my nEw 910i

mY nEw pendAnt fRm sOmEone wHo lOsT mY pReSeNt fOr hIm

mY vIcToRiA sEcReT bOdY sPrAy

mY nEw swArOvsKi braceLeT

..dEn cOme nEw yR eVe 31th dEc..
..aS uSuaL..
..fUn aNd tiRing..
..the themE fOr nEw yR..
..bLaCk dResS wItH rEd sToCkInGs..
..waHaHahAhA..
..bet aLoT of ppL wanNa sEe mE iN thAt bahZ..
..dReaMz oN maN..
..thOugH iT iS vErY nIcE-loOkiNg bUt it iS tOo boLd fOr mE..
..dIdNt gEt tO reaLLy tAkE a cLoSe pIc oN it..

me and jeRriN oUtsidE le bAr

..a littLe toO cRazy tHat dAy..
..if u guys are there den u would have utdz wat i mean ya..
..but kEep tHat tO uRseLf ya..
..i beLiEve that we bOth are drunk to dO that..

..saYinG gOod bYe tO 2007 iN thIs mAnNer..
..I gUeSs nO onE wiLL feeL reGrEt bAhZ..
..oF courSe i hAvE mY nEw yR resoLutiOn..
..bUt i aM kEepiNg mUm aBt iT fIrsT..
..upDaTe u gUyS oN anOthEr daY..
..fEel sO tIrEd nOW..

..gOtTa dRaG mYseLf tO wOrK tmL aGaIn..
..upDaTiNg sOoN..
..oN mY cOuSiN'S wEddinG oN tHe 5Th jAn..

..守护著等奇迹的你..
Wednesday, January 23, 2008 at 11:37 PM

..havEn been updatiNg..

..sOrRy..

..been bUsy witH tWo jObs noW..

..wiLL uplOad rEaL soOn..

..pLs bEaR wtH mE..

..守护著等奇迹的你..
Monday, January 21, 2008 at 3:08 AM