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the last second day of july..

how time flies..

august is coming...

my birthday..

how to celebrate ya..

dunno yet..

maybe stay at home..

go for a dinner..

den home..

for so many yrs..

my bday has always been a bang..

this yr..

i would rather it to be quiet..

maybe i alr have my fun all yr round liaoz bahz...

too much fun dat i am landed like tat..

i think i am contended with wat i have now..

well at least the best it can be liaoz..

juz got to find a job..

den get my driving license..

find myself back..

get back to life..

the rest i think i leave it with destiny and fate..

i dun wan to make any decisions..

it is set..

maybe it is true..

i cant settle down yet..

maybe because..

my knots are not untied..

well..

maybe everything will be fine soon..

yes..

everything will be fine soon...

really soon..

let's get it work out bahz..

..守护著等奇迹的你..
Tuesday, July 31, 2007 at 12:39 AM

tis feelings is coming back to me again..

i dunno if anything is wrong or right..

i am moving on..

but is it the right way?

i dunno..

been hearing alot of things..

too much..really..

dunno how to digest.. which to listen...

wat things shld i believe and trust..

me??

my feelings and instincts??

my future??

i still see it bright..

but standing at a junction for too long really feel..

*arRghz*

wat do i really wan to do in life??

i have been keeping things to myself too much...

been cooping up to much..

keeping quiet..

now i dun even show my feelings out too much..

determination..calmness..

they left me alone..

alone in this cold and cruel world..

i am feeling very empty..

i feel i am rushing myself now..

i wan tat feeling of being occupied..

i wan tat contented and happy feelings at work...

i wan to feel needed in some ways..

i need myself the most..

everything in life depend on whether u wan or need it or not..

but in any phrase of life like this..

ppl tend to lose themselves..

to the world of money..

to the world of life..

since when will anyone realise the impt of staying close with loved ones..

since when ppl actually looked up in the sky...

since when anyone tot abt why they changed frm time to time..

since when everyone looked at the ppl standing beside them..

and really put themselves in their shoes?

i wan to change cause i wan to change..

for the sake of myself..

for the sake of my loved ones..

for the sake of my life..

NEVER the sake of money...

the sake of fame...

and the sake of power...

i dun wan to lose myself tat way...

it is the most degrading and pathetic..

i have always been indecisive..

time to really change..

i dun wan to stand at the junction anymore..

NEVER again..

i need to wake up frm my princess's dream..

and stand up to do something for myself..

something tat will only belong to me..

i need my courage and determination..

come back to me..

i need u..

..守护著等奇迹的你..
Thursday, July 19, 2007 at 9:16 AM

2.19pm

think the weather is quite hot outside though..

here i am sitting in the office at Hartford..

blogging..

hahaz..

u all may think i muz be super free right..

okiez lahz..not really free though..

juz tat i am super bored...

work for 3 days liaoz..

hmmz..describe e job worz????

boring..

normal admin job lorz...

kinda of thinking why am i stuck at admin when i alr noe it will be boring..

met eVan and aNgeL the day before..

evaN was teasing me when she heard abt my admin job..

"ya..admin is liddat de..

eat lunch den work..

after work den eat dinner..

if free go for a movie or wat..

weekends not too tired go drinking lorz...

slowly u will be fat.."

wat she say is true though..

tat's the boring part..

wat a boring life..

i dun wan this kind of life..

DUN WAN!!!

though i dun wan a hectic life tOo..

but acutally i prefer tat..

everyday noe wat to do..

face different challenges and people..

more like i am suitable for frontline job instead..

wat have i been doing..

been asking myself alot these few weeks..

my life seems to have no aim..

slowly i turn to have no feelings..

this feeling sucks though..

i got so much to do in life..

i noe i can do lots of things..

i believe in my own abilities and beliefs

but...

why i feel like tis...

emptiness..insecure...aimless...

i DUN WAN this feeling...

i HATE this feeling..

now i am in full control of my life..

but why i dunno wat to do at all..

i wan a change again..

i DUN WAN to feel like this...

boring day..

boring life..

update again...

gotta go back to my boring work...

..守护著等奇迹的你..
Thursday, July 5, 2007 at 2:13 PM